Hold Your Breath and Count

Hello Friends. This is my first ever post! I am so excited and so nervous. Only a handful of people in life have ever read any of my poems or stories, so this is sort of a big deal. I actually wrote this poem today.

This poem is about dealing with a negative mind. We all have negative thoughts from time to time and this poem talks about what it feels like when it happens to me and how it feels when I don’t give into these thoughts.

Thanks for reading. I hope you all enjoy !

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…1….

You disconnect from the world

From yourself

Filling your mind with silence

No thoughts. No worries.

Letting the calm nothingness quiet the constant chaos.

…2…

You close your eyes

To see what your mind hears

The blackness

The blankness

You’re surrounded by your own silent self-comfort

…3…

Your shoulders relax

Your breathing deepens

Inhale slowly

Exhale steadily

You concentrate on nothing but the rhythm of your heart beating in your chest

…4….

The voices creep back in

It’s only a whisper, at first

They tease

They taunt

You hold them at bay with your melodic breaths and impenetrable concentration

…5…

the voices get louder

you are still trying to figure out who they are

where did they come from?

Are they the ones you hear every day and every night?

you give in to them wanting to know them more

…6…

you recognize them now

they’re you

the you at your worse

the you, you hate the most

they start to yell, breaking through your fortress of silence

—7…

the voices fill the once silent, peace space

reverberating from side to side

their screaming controls your mind

your thoughts begin to race

your head fills with their deceptive and damaging lies

…8…

they’re chanting now

telling you you’re worthless

telling you you’re useless

you’re listening, hanging onto their every last work

you want to fight, but you can’t… there’s just too many

…9…

the voices are screaming!

no other thoughts can get in or out

only despair

only pain

but you can’t let them win

…10…

the voices, your voice, must be stopped!

you open your eyes

you look towards the sun

you remind yourself that your voice is full of nothing but lies.

you push through the hate

you push forward, into your future

And, you win

Today, you win.

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