Yes, that’s right. My fiance and I are planning a wedding for Saturday, November 19th, a mere 5 days away. When did we decide on this lovely wedding date, 5 days ago. So, that brings our grand total of wedding planning to 10 days!! It has been a whirlwind to say the absolute least, but before I jump into this craziness, let me give you some background on us.
I met my fiance, Devon, in September of 2013 at a Christian sorority event (oh just you wait, it gets better). She was an active member and I decided I wanted to pledge before I graduated from school. When we met, it was like two souls meeting for the second time. As if, in a past life these two souls had known each other. When we all were doing informal introductions, Devon and I took 20 minutes trying to figure out why the other had looked so familiar and why we felt as if we already knew each other. It was fate. Fast forward to pledging the sorority, Devon was my big sis. Basically, her role was to mentor me as a Christian. Through this, we grew close and became best friends immediately. We were completely inseparable. Then I became an active member of the sorority (this is where the story gets juicy). In February, Devon kissed me and I freaked out. First, the Christian values we followed said that homosexuality was a sin and an abomination. So, we didn’t talk for about a week. I already knew that I liked her more than just a friend, but I knew that God wouldn’t agree, or so I thought.
It was in June that we decided to give our relationship a shot. Fun fact: our sorority also does not agree with same-sex relationships and we were both living in the sorority house, so we had to keep it a secret from our friends and our families out of the fear of losing our housing. So, a year passed and we came out to everyone. Some took it well, some not so much, and some stopped talking to us altogether. After researching it and talking to a number of pastors (I think I consulted 3 pastors outside of my parents-yes, both of my parents are pastors), we thought that our relationship wasn’t one of sin. And, that conclusion wasn’t one that we came to overnight. It was a central discussion of our relationship that first year. We questioned our faith a lot more than people want you to and we came to a conclusion that a lot of people won’t agree with. It’s been hard, but we have emerged from that darkness into something so beautiful and bright.
In April of this year, we proposed. I proposed to Devon first, then a week later, Devon proposed to me. Who doesn’t want to be proposed to? Since then, we have talked about planning a wedding. It goes from planning it for 2018, to eloping the next day. We kept putting off our date further and further because we were always worried about having our finances in order so we could afford this wedding, moving back to California to be able to plan our wedding while physically present, waiting for friends and families to come around to our relationship and hopefully want to come to the wedding, etc. Then, Donald Trump was elected as president. There was a surge of pain and fear that went through us both. Would we have the right to be married in a few years or would that ruling be overturned? Would our relationship be met with more and more hate in the upcoming years? Would the years of work towards social progress be rolled back with the movement of a single pen? With all these questions, we decided to get married.
While these thoughts pushed us to, in the words of a famous company, ‘just do it’, it was not without consideration or excitement. While the legal changes may take months or years to reverse, if they are ever reversed, this election taught me something critical: life as you know it can change in a split second. Not just in the political sense, but in general. We were trying to plan the perfect wedding for two years away, but what can happen in those two years? That unknown isn’t worth the risk of not being able to marry my best friend. Don’t get me wrong, we will be having our dream wedding in a few years as we celebrate the renewal of our vows, but why put off what you can do in 10 days for 2 years? I am a firm believer that 1) before you get married, you should experience ups and downs with your partner, including fights 2)you should experience your partners family, both informally and at the holidays and 3)you should never jump into a lifelong decision at the spur of the moment or within a few months. But, with all of that said, when you know, you know. I knew 2 and 1/2 years ago.
I get to marry my best friend and spend the rest of my life getting to know the most amazing person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. She has completely changed my life for the better. I can’t imagine my life without her and in a few days, I will legally and officially never have to! It has been a crazy past few days, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I wouldn’t trade this life with Devon for anything. In the words of the ever so classic Jagged Edge, “Let’s get married!”